The Fence

When my friend got married, he decided he wanted more privacy, so he built a large wooden fence between his place and the place next door. What he didn't realize (or maybe he didn't care) is that this gave his elderly Asian neighbors more privacy too.

While Brian and Julie are relaxing privately in their new hot tub, the elderly Asians are on the other side of the fence, pissing in their driveway.

Maybe it's the sound of bubbling water that entices them. Before the hot tub went in, B & J had a little bubbling Buddha fountain.

Grandma exits the house, hikes up her dress, squats and pisses in the driveway. Grandpa comes out a few minutes later and pees against the fence.

It seems to me they were peeing in the driving around this time last year, too. Maybe it's a seasonal thing.

I'm not sure I'll miss looking out the window and seeing this sort of thing when I move next week. The new pad is pretty much just up the hill, all surrounded by trees, a view of a different kind of nature. I won't be in the ghetto anymore.

There are things I like about my ghetto, things I'll miss. There's always something going on down here in the flats. But I don't think I will miss witnessing so much of humanity pissing and shitting in driveways, at bus stops, in alleys. I think I'm taking a step up, visual standard-of-living wise.

Fascist Fargo Femme Fatales

It's starting to look a lot like the leader of America's neofascist party is going to be an telegenic woman with a Fargo accent. Here is Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) on MSNBC’s “Hardball” Friday making the remarks that Colin Powell found so alarming. She says that Barack Obama may have “anti-American views” and that it needs to be determined which members of Congress are “pro-America or anti-America.”